II-II. ONE PUNCH
The alley behind the gallery. Brennifer speaks to an OFFICER. Officer slowly, yet un-assuredly takes notes on a handy little notepad with a little pencil.
Harold, meanwhile, stands by his grandmother’s station wagon, patiently waiting for his cue as if he isn’t actually there. He holds a large framed photograph under each arm.
OFFICER: Okay. So, would you mind going over this one more time for me?
BRENNIFER: What’s the point of writing all this down if you’re just going to have me repeat it?
Officer gestures to the audience.
BRENNIFER: Oh. Right. (to Harold) Go on, then.
HAROLD: You sure?
Brennifer gestures to the audience.
BRENNIFER: Wouldn’t want complaints about exposition.
HAROLD: (nods) Of course.
Harold drops, shatters the photographs. He pretends to care, but really can’t be assed.
HAROLD: Like that?
BRENNIFER: It’ll do.
OFFICER: That’s it?
BRENNIFER: Don’t make me have to do this again.
HAROLD: Yeah, what she said. Also, I didn’t bring any more of these to break.
Brennifer and Harold glare at Officer disapprovingly. Then…
BRENNIFER: (to Harold) Everything okay? I heard screaming.
HAROLD: Yeah, it’s cool. I always scream when things are okay.
She gestures to the broken pictures.
BRENNIFER: You need some help with that?
HAROLD: Nah. That was the last of it. Sorry it took me so long to come back for all this.
BRENNIFER: It’s cool. I’m sorry nobody bought anything.
HAROLD: Yeah. But at least I got some work out of it.
BRENNIFER: (puzzles this) (laughs) Oh, yeah. That weird couple. How’d that work out?”
HAROLD: (laughs) Sophia’s not weird…
BRENNIFER: (grimaces) Aw, shit…
HAROLD: (blinks) What?
BRENNIFER: You dumb bastard. How long have you been fucking her?
HAROLD: (considers this) What?
BRENNIFER: (to Officer) You getting this?
OFFICER: (reads) “You dumb bastard. How long have you been fucking her?” (to Brennifer) What next?
BRENNIFER: Right. Well. The dude came up and–
BRENNIFER: Just watch.
Brennifer gestures for things to proceed.
Oliver appears, punches Harold, Harold kisses the pavement and stays there.
OLIVER: (to Brennifer) How was that?
BRENNIFER: Perfect. Thank you.
OFFICER: Wait. You didn’t think to warn your friend–
Brennifer shakes her head, “Nuh-uh.”
BRENNIFER: Harold and I screwed a few times in the utility closet after hours. We weren’t friends.
Officer looks at the pink-haired woman in front of him, wonders if she sells minerals or weed, then continues.
OFFICER: Right. So, you didn’t think to warn Harold that a (reads notes) “very angry dude” was about to start a fight with him?
She shakes her head again.
BRENNIFER: Not a fight – an ass-kicking. The dude threw one punch, then left.
OFFICER: Okay. But why didn’t you say anything to Harold?
Brennifer considers this, then shrugs.
BRENNIFER: Maybe I thought he had it coming.